Dasmond Koh rarely talks about his mother, who passed away in February 2020. But in the new episode of Hear U Out, the 49-year-old opened up about what it was like caring for her during the “seven to eight” years she suffered from dementia.

“It got so bad that I doubted myself at times, he said. There were times when I was tired both in body and spirit. When her dementia worsened, she would complain about wanting to go home [when she was already home] for three or four hours. She’d insist that she wasn’t at home, because she only remembered the house that she used to live in. [My older sister and I] had to keep telling her, ‘This is your home. Where do you want to go to?’”

Dasmond said he and his sister would spend “two to three hours” trying to convince their mum that she was home, and had to resort to lying to her by saying that there was no transport so as to get her to stay for the night.

“When she was bedridden, I started to doubt myself when I got tired. It really hit home that there was a possibility of you getting sick of your parents because they’ve been ill for too long, and I wondered if it was true [for me]. When you try your best and you're exhausted, you start to wonder why certain things are happening to you. I felt slightly guilty once I had such thoughts. [My mum] brought us up without a single word of complaint and she was always patient with us even when we asked her countless questions.”

Quan Yifeng, who is the host of the show, then brought up a conversation she had with Dasmond’s sister.

“She told me that the only person your mum remembered was you. Why do you think that was so?” Yifeng asked.

According to Dasmond, it's because he's the youngest of seven children and that the things he had been through were more memorable .

She could see me on TV and read about me; she would vote for me in the Star Awards every year. She’d also ask her friends and my aunts to vote for me. We had also gone through periods when we didn’t have rice at home and had go to a neighbour with a bowl to ask for some.

That’s how poor we were; so in the eyes of many friends, relatives, neighbours, we weren’t people who were in a position to brag about things. It was only later that we got lucky and I hope that my sister and I gave her a good life in her golden years.”

While the host had hoped for his mum to see him receive his All-Time Favourite Award, it was not to be as she passed away in February 2020, two months before Star Awards was scheduled to take place. The awards was eventually postponed for an entire year because of COVID-19.

“When I got my award, only two or three people came to mind, he said. The first was my mum... People say that [those who passed away] are watching from heaven, [but] I wonder if she knows that I won the award. I wonder if there's a way for me to let her know that I’d reached a milestone [in my life].”

To find out what else Dasmond revealed in this week's episodes of Hear U Out, click here for part 1 & here for part 2.

Photos: Dasmond Koh, Mediacorp