2020 and 2021 have been bleak years for pretty much everyone in the world, no thanks to COVID-19, but it was especially tough for Hongkong actor Marco Ngai.

For starters, the 53-year-old confirmed that he had ended his 12-year marriage to his Chinese wife Zhang Lihua, who is 20 years his junior and was rumoured to have cheated on him multiple times.

Sadly, his career wasn’t doing any better than his love life.

In a recent interview, Marco revealed that he had no income for about a year and half ‘cos of the pandemic and was so miserable that he had to see a psychologist.

He even thought about committing suicide, but it was the thought of his daughter Jessica, who is 11 this year, that gave him pause.

“My daughter saved me ‘cos I told myself that she cannot lose me, so I took a step back,” he said. “I didn’t want her to know about this so I was very happy in front of her all the time. If she knew about this, it would affect her forever.”

When asked why his marriage with Lihua didn't work out, Marco said that while he thinks he's an outstanding father, he could have been a better husband.

“There were no right or wrong parties, the divorce was ‘cos people can change, and I had changed too much,” he mused, admitting that he may have neglected his wife while paying too much attention to their little girl.

As for his future plans in the romance department, Marco shared that he is open to finding a partner who can move in with him, but they may not necessarily tie the knot (he previously declared that he will “never marry” again).

Marco also opened up about his breakup with Hongkong actress Joyce Tang, 45. The two were once TVB’s golden couple and dated for close to a decade before they split in 2007.

According to Marco, he and Joyce never had plans to take their relationship to the next level. Then, all of a sudden, they “lost their feelings” for each other, as if — in Marco’s words — they’d “been married for 90 years”.

“I never thought about getting married ‘cos I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between what’s acting and what’s real,” he explained. “People might think I’m just making excuses, but I really did love [Joyce]. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have been together for nine years.”

While he was aware that everyone was looking forward to them getting married, he just wanted to be “an ordinary person” and found himself distancing himself from the relationship the more popular Joyce got.

“In the end, I decided to let go so I wouldn’t bring her down. She was actually the victim in all this ‘cos she really loved me, but I wasn’t good enough for her.”

Joyce went on to wed Canon executive Matthew Chu in 2013, and Marco said that “seeing them happy makes [him] very happy” as well.

If you or someone you know is having difficulties coping, here are some numbers to call:
Samaritans of Singapore: 1800-221-4444
Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019
CHAT @ *SCAPE: (+65) 6493 6500, (+65) 6493 6501
SAF Counselling Hotline: 1800-278-0022

Photos: Marco Ngai/Weibo, PBE Media