Juggling working from home (WFH) or home-based learning (HBL) with the kids — or both — is no easy feat. Just ask any parent in Singapore right now. It almost seems impossible to find a moment of peace in between the video calls for work, the kids’ math classes, the cooking, and the cleaning. Who knew that spending time with family 24/7 could be so challenging? Take a deep breath, and read on. 8Days.sg checked in with Ms Sylvie Lian, clinical psychologist at Psych Connect, who proffers tips on how to manage WFH and HBL in the time of Covid-19.

“Don’t answer e-mails and calls after a certain time,” says Sylvie. “Set aside time to yourself, with no interruptions. Mindfulness is a necessity, not a luxury. You can’t take care of your family if your mind is in shambles. You’re doing self-care so you can better care for your family.

“Make it a strict rule. It may be harder for people with babies, but get your spouse to take turns with you. Plug in and have at least 10 to 15 minutes a day of peace and quiet and absolute aloneness, even if you have to hide out in the restroom or under the covers.”

“Some thoughts are exhausting, she reveals. For example, thoughts like ‘I can’t deal with this, this is way too much for me to handle’ versus, ‘I get the chance to prove to myself that I can handle tougher challenges. I will come out of this incredibly strong. It’s tough, but I have the opportunity to work while being physically close to my family.”

“To help with splitting of chores, do up a roster and honour it. If needed, do up a reward system. For example, if one partner sticks fully to his/her roster duties for a day, he/she gets a favour from the other spouse, or child gets a favour from parents.

Sylvie adds: “Highlight and negotiate standards of housework. Many times, people get disgruntled as they have differing opinions on what “enough” is. For example, dish washing to satisfaction means no visible stains, no feelings of oiliness, etc.”

“Children love structure, and schools usually provide some form of structure to their day,” she tells us. “Providing a timetable for them would be helpful. A simple one can look like this: Wake up, get ready, breakfast, e-learning, lunch, exercise routine, leisure, dinner. Uncertainty is very difficult for kids. While we can’t give them a certain timing when they can be outdoors again, we can help give them some certainty about how their day is going to go.

“Vary their activities daily, and make use of this opportunity to monitor those behaviours that their teachers have been telling you about, but you never had the chance to notice at home. During e-learning or revision sessions, take note of any challenging behaviours there might be, and set a goal with your child to work on it.”

“Designate different areas of the house for different activities, if you can,” Sylvie says. “This is to switch things up, while providing structure. The kitchen, for example, could be a fun location for cooking or baking, the dining table be the homework or revision area, and the living room be the arts and craft area, and so on. These gives your children a sense of variety, and helps them get a movement break whenever they are transiting between activities.”

“Include workouts into the daily routine,” she suggests. “Yoga, for example, can be made fun, by likening poses to different animals, and teaching children to mimic these animals, for example. Chores can also be modified into games, and this will not only teach children some responsibility for the house’s cleanliness, but also help to take some strain off your workload, as it becomes a fun activity. For example, there could be mopping competitions, where the kids compete to see who mops a certain area the quickest, and any stains left lead to deductions of points.”

More info about Psych Connect at https://www.psychconnect.sg/.

Photos: Unsplash