“Not feeling too good today. Might do something.”

The moment the text message popped up on my phone screen, I ditched everything and immediately called my close friend. When he didn’t pick up, I alerted our mutual friends and asked if they could get in touch with him.

Then began an hour-long frenzy of worry about how he was. I knew he was depressed and had tried to seek psychiatric help, but he felt like the doctors either brushed off his condition or couldn’t understand how he felt.

He ultimately replied and things were all right. But it made me realise a) how difficult it is to help people with mental health issues, and b) how easy it is to miss the signs.

SOCIAL MEDIA: A BOON AND A BANE

Being part of the social media generation can lead us to focus mostly on ourselves — how our Instagram Stories look, how curated our feed is, how many people like our Facebook posts, that sort of thing. It’s difficult to get out of that bubble and realise that our friends or relatives might be struggling emotionally.

Social media can contribute to mental issues as well, but it also turned out to be the way I got to help some of my friends and vice versa.

I would see them posting cryptic messages and reach out, asking if they need someone to talk to or just listen. Sometimes, even letting them know that you’re there to help can be a huge booster.

Given that I personally have struggled with depression and mental health issues, I am able to share some thoughts on how to deal with them. For example, seeking help from mental health professionals is hugely important, but letting your loved ones know how you feel is equally important.

This goes especially for those like my friend above, who felt that he wasn’t taken seriously because he was a man, and men are supposed to be emotionally strong.

ALERT OTHERS TOO

The problem is, how do you help others beyond giving platitudes if you haven’t dealt with mental health issues before?

Everyone faces different kinds and degrees of mental health problems, but it can be as simple as alerting other friends or loved ones to what’s happening and getting them to pitch in their support.

I myself have made cryptic posts on social media when I’m feeling depressed, which sometimes triggers a chain response.

Telling your loved ones how you feel isn’t as scary as you might imagine. Not everyone has people in their lives whom they can rely on, and that privilege is something I acknowledge.

But many people feel like they don’t have a support system when it’s right at their doorstep, as I once felt myself.

Even after opening up to my family about my problems, I found myself not wanting to constantly update them about my struggles because, hey, everyone has their problems to handle, right?

So one day, when I was once incredibly depressed and didn’t tell my family, it was my fiancé who alerted my elder sister (who lives abroad) about it.

My sister then called me while neck-deep in work to tell me how much I mattered to her. That made all the difference.

When I was feeling horrible one night, the close friend I mentioned above dropped everything to come and pick me up from the other end of the island. We hung out at Downtown East for a good few hours and talked till I felt better.

While self-care and asking for help are absolutely essential, it’s also worth caring for those close to you and even acquaintances. If you come across them expressing their problems on Instagram or Facebook, for instance, you could just drop them a message.

When you spot someone posting stuff like: “I wish I could get away from all this forever”, it doesn’t take much to reach out and ask how they are doing. It could mean the world to them.

Since awareness of mental health issues seems to be growing in recent times, it may be good to find out more about it too by reading up on it online or talking to those who suffer from these conditions.

I’ve heard people lamenting that it’s easier to support someone with, say, cancer than someone with depression, just because they don’t know how to.

It is time for us to acknowledge that mental illnesses exist and do something to help each other. Being depressed should be taken at least as seriously as falling sick.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Louisa Tang is a TODAY journalist who covers the court and crime beat.

This article is written in partnership with the National Youth Council (NYC). If you have an idea on how to improve mental well-being support for youths, turn it into reality by joining the Youth Action Challenge Ideation session on Oct 19. This challenge is organised by the Ministry of Culture, Community & Youth and the NYC. Through a series of workshops and hackathons, you will get to hear from Government representatives, industry heads and youth leaders. Youths with the best ideas will have a chance to pitch their proposals at a finale in April 2020 and receive up to S$50,000 in grants for implementation. Sign up for the challenge at bit.ly/YACgy