When my grandfather passed away seven years ago, it marked the first time in my life that I lost a loved one. It was not easy to adjust to the loss.

His absence is especially heartfelt when the extended Maa family gathers. My biggest regret is that while I do have photos taken with him, I don’t have one that has just the two of us.

When he died, I realised I rarely took photos of precious moments in my life. From then on, I made it a point to try to capture as many moments as I can, such as when I meet a new friend, or catch up with old ones.

While most will accept my request to take a photo, some may reject by saying: “There will be another chance again.”

More often than not, we think that there will be many opportunities in future to record such memories. Many of us are also too caught up in our daily life to consider issues of our mortality. But life can be unpredictable and the chance of capturing a memory in a photo may never come again.

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In March last year, when I caught up with an old friend after three months, I immediately offered to take a photo with him. Little would I know that there will be the last time we had a photo together as he tragically passed away in an accident few months later.  

He was 27 and doing very well in his career as a property agent, but just like that, his life was cut short. Our photo is the only memory I have of my friendship with him.

I was not always one who actively seek to make the best out of the time I have. Just a few years back, I was totally focused on being successful and did not care about creating memories.

I studied hard and I told myself that one day I must earn a lot of money.

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Things started changing in 2016, when an aunt died from an illness. I remembered her to be financially well-off but she died an unhappy woman after a failed marriage.

I remembered her last words to be: “I have everything I want in life. But I am not happy.”

This shook me to the core and I started questioning the very set of values I had held in my entire life.

When my aunt died, it coincided with my internship as a Year 3 Polytechnic student with an accounting firm.

No doubt, the pay was decent but I detested that job because it was not suitable for my character. I can’t work in a desk bound job and thrive instead on tasks that provide constant human interaction.

So for six months, I dragged myself to work every single day. It was a miserable experience and I felt so depressed.

It did not help that my colleagues who had worked for a long time at the company hated their job and looked so gloomy every day.

Many of them did not feel a sense of purpose in the things that they did. They felt that they were just another cog in the huge corporate machine.

Thankfully, I was able to confide in my family members.

From those two formative experiences in 2016, I set out to turn my life around. I cast my material aspirations out of the window and settled on a minimalist lifestyle.

Unlike my peers who changed clothes to fit in with the trend, I only buy clothes when needed and I don’t bother to keep up with the fashion trend. Once, a friend even called me an old man because I dressed like one.

Now, I am focused on doing the things I like and forming memorable experiences.

When I finish my National Service in a few months, I want to work in a job that provides me with meaning. Money is not a priority at the stage.  

In my spare time outside camp, I participate in Toastmasters Club’s activities to improve my speaking skills. I want to live my life to the fullest and hang out with friends with positive energy and who share same values as me.

Because at the end of the day, when I look back at my life. I don’t want to be asking myself: “What if I had done this?”

Modern life in a developed country like Singapore can be hectic and relentless.

But from time to time, it is useful to reflect and ourselves: “Are we happy with our life?” If not, what are we doing about it?

Do we cherish our loved ones in our life and set aside time for them?

If not, can we start now?

And in doing so, perhaps there is merit in capturing the moment in a photo too. Because one day, the photo may be the only the physical memory you have of them.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Maa Zhi Hong, an accountancy graduate of Ngee Ann Polytechnic, is currently serving his National Service.