SINGAPORE — It’s no big secret that this writer is slightly obsessed with Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

In fact, I’d like to think we have a love-hate relationship.

And it sort of just happened. One day, he was little cutie-pie Tommy Solomon from TV’s 3rd Rock From The Sun. The next, the 32-year-old is a porn addict in the first-ever feature film that he wrote, directed and starred in, called Don Jon. And which girl can forget his string of hits like (500) Days Of Summer, Inception, 50/50, Looper, The Dark Knight Rises and Lincoln?

I’ve just about had it with your over-achieving ways, JGL! In fact, here are 10 things I hate about you. I hope you’re happy.

1. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. You made cancer funny in 50/50. But your performance was as heart-rending as it was hilarious. You fully deserved your Golden Globe Best Actor nomination. Now stop it, will you? I look horrible with mascara running down my puffy face. 2. I hate that you’re slowly stealing the title of “That Handsome Leftfield Leading Man Movie Star Everyone Simply Adores” away from Ryan Gosling. 3. I hate that you make me, through your deft portrayals, end up fancying odious men — like the chain-smoking, world-hating, greasy-haired, foul-mouthed, heavy-metal-loving, tattooed, titular lout from Hesher. Or that obnoxious promiscuous beefcake Jon from Don Jon who seemed to have walked straight off the set of Jersey Shore into my heart. How is that even possible? 4. I hate that you cheated my unsuspecting heart with ridiculously unrealistic expectations and false hopes that boyfriend-material nice guys can also be insanely hot, cute talented, funny, sweet, oh-so-romantic and chivalrous at the same time. And that’s all thanks to you playing Cameron James in 1999’s 10 Things I Hate About You and Tom Hansen in 2009’s (500) Days Of Summer. 5. I hate that gay men love you, too. That just means more competition for me. 6. I hate that, whenever I bring up the argument “child actors rarely make it as adult actors, let alone successful ones”, my editors say: “What about JGL?” 7. I hate that I spent my 1990s liking long hair on boys, all thanks to you being Tommy Solomon and looking like the fourth long lost Hanson brother. 8. I hate that, when I say It Hollywood actors should never try and be a triple threat for their directorial debut, and then, you come up with Don Jon. 9. I hate that you make me feel like an underachiever. Not only did you conscientiously beef up for the role of John "Robin" Blake and went extreme G-T-L ( gym-tanning-laundry) for Don Jon, you also spent hours to don prosthetics for Looper, you’ll do just about anything for your craft.Me? I struggle to get out of my pyjamas in the mornings. 10. I hate it that, save for when I interviewed you for Inception, you don’t know me well enough to call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you — not even a little bit. Not even at all. Don Jon is in cinemas now. Go to http://www.todayonline.com/entertainment/movies/movie-reviews/don-jon-355 for the review.