We are a pair of twins, born just two minutes apart. Darren is the older twin and Barry is the younger one. For 27 years and counting, our “twinness” has been our conversational ice-breaker — even though twins are becoming more common than ever. (Beyoncé, Mariah Carey, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Lopez are just some celebrities who have twins.)

Do twins really have telepathy? Are the both of you completely identical? If he feels sad, can you feel it too? If we had a dollar for each twin question we have ever been asked, we could probably become the Winklevoss twins of Singapore.

For the record, the answers to the above are no, yes (we are mirror-image twins), and no. The bond between us is unique and unbreakable, but we don’t share a mythical, psychic bond that allows us to read each other’s minds. 

The reason it seems like we do is because we know each other so well that we can predict what the other will do or say.

But there is a lot more to twinning than just finishing each other’s sentences. For instance, we look identical, but our personalities and hobbies are anything but.

Barry is more playful and happy-go-lucky while Darren is the serious one. Barry enjoys soccer games while Darren likes playing badminton.

Even our career goals are slightly different. Barry is interested in the food and beverage sector while Darren is more fascinated by the ever-changing technology that is around us.

We are like yin and yang in a way. Just as Barry thinks about “having fun”, Darren reminds him to focus on his tasks at hand. Just as Darren wants to work through the night, Barry suggests that they have a good night’s rest and continue tomorrow.

While we have always been close — inseparable almost — there is also a lot of sibling rivalry. In fact, we can resent each other at times.
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One misconception is that twin closeness means we are always on the same page, living in perfect harmony. Not true. Like most brothers, we fight, we hold petty grudges, and we have a litany of grievances against one another.  

As twins, we are constantly competing. We get jealous of each other.

Darren held a grudge because Barry was taller, fitter and better at sports. It did not help that people always thought Barry was the older brother. 

Barry in turn didn’t fancy the fact that his brother is better at interacting with other people and did better in school.

Darren used to get a lot of our parents’ attention for being the smarter, more gifted child that they excitedly watched hitting important milestones.

In fact, we used to fight for attention, especially on special occasions like birthdays. Our parents did not want to buy two cakes, so we always had to blow out the same candles — something both of us were never too pleased about.

This could be why to this day, we have never enjoyed celebrating our birthdays.

The authors (Darren is on the right and Barry is on the left) with their mother.  Photo courtesy of Darren and Barry Yuen.

Growing up, our family, relatives, teachers and even friends constantly compared us as well. This spurred us to establish our own identities and set ourselves apart from each other.

We went to the same schools for almost 20 years, and our social circles inevitably overlapped quite a bit.

One memorable incident happened during our university days at Singapore Management University.

A friend of Barry’s walked up to Darren and started chatting about a module and the assignments for nearly 10 minutes before Darren mustered up the courage to mention that he is not Barry.

That was a huge shock for the friend because he didn’t know that Barry had a twin and thought that "Barry" was pulling his leg.

Even our mother has made this mistake. When we were in junior college, there was one breakfast we had together where for 30 minutes, she kept calling us by the wrong names. Imagine that!

One question that we get asked often is whether we have fought over the same girl before. The answer thankfully is no.

There was however one occasion in secondary school where a girl seemed interested in the both of us. She was giving us gifts and teasing us at the same time. We were confused as we did not know which twin she liked more. 

As the elder brother, Darren said: “Barry, you can have her if she likes the both of us.” Eventually, that turned out to be nothing as we were all too young at that time.

Although Darren is now married and we are living apart, we call each other and talk daily. In fact, we talk to each other more than anyone else.

Rain or shine, we would be the first and last person we text every day. We hang out during the weekends watching soccer together. 

We always confide in each other, no matter how small or big the issue is. We rely on each other for advice, even on trivial things such as what to have for our own dinner.

People are always fascinated when they first meet us, and they are usually surprised at how alike we look, how we complete each other sentences and how we as two different people think so alike. 

Being a twin means you’ll never know anyone quite so well or be known so completely by anyone else. It’s both reassuring and exhausting, a weird yet wonderful thing.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS:

Barry Yuen is the lead of insights and analytics at a global multinational company. Darren Yuen is a business associate with a consulting firm. They both graduated from Singapore Management University with top honours (Summa Cum Laude) in business management, majoring in finance and strategy.