SINGAPORE — Despite its rather flashy emphasis on “good luck” food, the Chinese New Year meal is not unlike the celebratory meals I’ve grown accustomed to, as a second generation Singaporean Filipino. Granted, being married to a Singaporean Teochew helps, but I don’t think it’s hard to fathom the general concept of a reunion dinner, whether you prefer to call it a Thanksgiving meal sans the turkey, or a salo-salo — which is essentially a Filipino banquet held for a number of reasons, not least as the perfect excuse to have lechon baboy (spit-roasted suckling pig) or lechon liempo (roast pork belly).

And there you have it, lesson one: A little perspective goes a long way.

Of course, I’ve always held the belief that few are more hooked on all things pork than the Chinese and Filipinos, and so I’ve always felt like I was in a good place when a festive repast with the in-laws was in order.

And maybe it’s my openness to try different foods — which should not be confused with my voracious appetite — but I have, over the past 17 years of marriage, enjoyed a privileged perch as the odd (read: curious) guest at the table. Consequently, this has afforded me further insights into the art of eating well during the festivities.

From a purely cultural standpoint, I can’t say I’m in the position to question the idea of serving braised sea cucumber stuffed with a minced mix of pork, prawn and mushrooms. Or, for that matter, the supposedly auspicious merits of cooking with black moss (aka fa cai or hair moss) — which, to be honest, reminds me of something straight out of a Japanese horror flick.

But therein lies the opportunity to embrace another belief I’ve always held: That we are all diners of an increasingly global table. With a little discernment and as much open-mindedness you can muster, an uncomfortably exotic dish need not be too distressing. So, while I never ate that sea cucumber dish again, I did gain some appreciation for a dish of braised bitter mustard cabbage, which, as it turned out, is one of the wife’s favourite dishes — which is also a quick lesson in maintaining marital bliss.

Now you might think I’m digressing a little in citing this, but I’ve even had the opportunity to bring a little Filipino flavour to the reunion dinner table. Not to the major gathering at the wife’s father’s place, but to the more intimate affair at the home of her brother’s wife’s parents.

This relatively humble annual repast is often built around a steamboat dinner. But it doesn’t only feature the ubiquitous assortment of prawns, meat and fish balls, pork dumplings, and maybe some liver. For variety, there is also a side of poached chicken and chap chye, or mixed vegetable stew (apparently because the family is Hainanese).

The short of it is that my cousin-in-law’s mum once went out of the way to prepare her specialty, fish porridge because she had wanted me to be at the dinner despite being inconveniently under the weather that evening.

I offered to return the favour the following year and she asked if there was a Filipino dish that could fit right in. I immediately thought of a stew made with pork and fatty lap cheong (those sweetened, dried and smoked Chinese sausages), flavoured with carrots, potatoes, peas and cabbage.

Suffice it to say, I didn’t need the acumen of a famous philosopher to recognise the lesson at hand, which is that the significance of the reunion dinner is not found in a luxe pot of auspicious ingredients.

Over the years, I’ve also learned that one should not pass on a good salad, even if we were taught not to play with our food, or that good health and the acquisition of life’s riches are not determined by the elaborate tossing of finely julienned vegetables and raw fish in a delicious sweet-sour dressing.

Good food and good company, on the other hand, are both a choice and a blessing. And few other special meals place such a huge spotlight on their correlation. And it is celebrating with the latter that elevates even the dishes you’re trying to figure out into some of our most memorable moments at the dining table. Whether you call it a salo-salo, a Thanksgiving dinner, or a Chinese New Year dinner. DON MENDOZA

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