HONG KONG — When Ms Susan Bamber's husband, Jack Upson, fell ill in late 2010, she took time off from her work as a journalist to care for him.

When he died in April 2011, just 14 months after he was diagnosed with Stage 4 stomach cancer, she was devastated and decided not to return to work. 

The couple, who did not have children together, had been married for two decades. Ms Bamber went from being one half of a closely-knit couple to being on her own.

A difficult adjustment, she made it a point to expand her life socially and take time for self-care.

She also looked after a friend's dog whenever the friend travelled. The dog brought much comfort and joy, but in early 2020 the friend and dog left Hong Kong for Australia.

"I missed having a part-time canine companion," says the Australian-born Ms Bamber, who has lived in Hong Kong for 25 years and is now retired.

When the pandemic brought her life to a standstill a year ago, she fostered a dog from the Sai Kung Stray Friends Foundation (SKSFF).

She named the two-year-old mongrel Sammy. He is a handsome black and tan dog with a fluffy curled tail and beautiful markings that give him a happy, expressive face.

Sammy had spent his life with a pack of strays that were caught for neutering. The other dogs were quite feral, but he was gentle and interested in people, so SKSFF founder Narelle Pamuk decided to find him a home.

"Sammy had never lived in a house, but the moment he came to my apartment he fitted in," Ms Bamber says. "He was beautifully behaved, gentle and very laid back. It was as if he wanted to make a good impression, to make sure he secured a home."

Adult stray dogs are often difficult to place, so Ms Bamber thought it was apt to welcome him into her home.

"In losing my husband, I'd lost my family, and Sammy was a dog that had never had a family and was obviously desperate for one."

More than six months later, Ms Bamber and Sammy are closer than ever: he has brought touch back into her life and love back into her home.

"After sharing my life so closely and for so long with one person, without children or nearby extended family, the death of that person leaves a chasm of long-term loss well beyond the initial grieving period — you have no one to care for, no one breathing or snoring next to you at night, no one with whom to eat dinner in front of the TV or to rage with over the state of politics and the world, no one even to complain about," she says.

"One of the biggest losses from my life was touch. I went from someone who touched my husband a lot — I'd give him head rubs, foot rubs or just a grazing touch whenever I passed him — to someone who never touched another living being for months on end.

"Now, Sammy is my constant companion. He greets me in the morning and welcomes me home whenever I go out without him... He sits with me as I watch TV and looks at me quizzically when I rage over the news. I give him plenty of pats and hugs and he reciprocates by laying a paw on me if we are snuggled up together."

Over the years, studies have explored the benefits of pet ownership for mental health, but recent research has found that owning a pet also relieves depression and loneliness after one loses a spouse.

The Florida State University (FSU) study, published in 2019 in the journal The Gerontologist, looked at people aged 50 and older who had lost a spouse through death or divorce.

All experienced elevated levels of depression; however, those without a pet experienced more depressive symptoms and loneliness than those who had pets.

Individuals who had a pet — specifically a cat or a dog — and experienced the death or divorce of their spouse were no lonelier than older adults who did not experience one of those events.

"In everyday life, having a cat or dog may not make you healthier," said Ms Dawn Carr, the study's lead author and an associate professor of sociology at FSU.

"But when facing a stressful event, we might lean on a pet for support. You can talk to your dog. They're not going to tell you you're a bad person, they're just going to love you. Or you can pet your cat, and it's calming."

Hong Kong clinical psychologist Dr Tommy Chan agrees that the presence of a pet is especially helpful during periods of grief.

"Having a pet provides constant companionship and affection, which can help minimise loneliness," says Dr Chan.

"It might also remind people of their late spouse and help them preserve personal experiences they shared with their late spouse that involved the pet."

The significance of touching, stroking or hugging a pet cannot be overlooked, he adds. "That physical connection can generate feelings of comfort, warmth and nurturance, filling some emotional gaps during a time of significant emotional loss."

Caring for a pet can also inject purpose into someone's life, and "can help them feel significant", Dr Chan explains.

"Spending time with their pet also allows them to shift the focus away from themselves for a while so that they are not dwelling on whatever is causing them stress.

"Dogs and cats are typically loyal, and when a grieving spouse experiences that loyalty, they may feel loved and accepted."

Ms Bamber may not have started caring for a dog as soon as she lost her husband, but once she started looking after her friend's dog, she felt a void in her life had been filled.

Today, Sammy has not only helped her feel whole again; he has motivated her to take better care of herself, emotionally and physically, and given her opportunities to interact with others.

"Cocooning myself in bed all day or binge-watching Netflix on the couch is no longer an option. Sammy is there each morning, waiting for a walk and eager for adventure," she says.

"I end up chatting with other dog owners along the way... We enjoy an inseparable bond and I cannot imagine giving him up." SOUTH CHINA MORNING POST